Third time is a charm...

Today has been 18 months in the making.  After I donated my hair in November 2011, I went back and forth about growing it out to donate again.  June 2012 as my Pop-pop lay in a hospital bed after getting sick from the chemo, my decision was made.
This is my third time.  Each time I have donated my hair,  I have tried to pick a day that is significant. The first time I did it on the day of my High School graduation.

First Time

The second time was my last day of being 30.

Second Time

Today has several significant reasons.  When I started growing my hair out because of my Pop-pop's cancer diagnosis, I had pictured in my mind that I would be donating it with him by my side and him in remission. December 28th, 2012, this image was taken away.  My first goal was to do it on what would have been his 81st birthday, August 18th... but my hair was not quite long enough.  So I started looking at other dates that might work not only one that meant something but also one that worked for my hair dresser.  The next two dates were the day he passed and then the day I last saw him, but both fall over the holidays.
Then as I looked at the calendar one day became perfect.  December 18th.  On this day in 1992 my grandpa passed away.  It is also exactly 4 months after Pop-pop's birthday.  It also the 3 month since we lost Hayden.  Hayden was married to Philip's cousin Callie.  He was an amazing young man of 26 years and lived a life that testified of his love for the Lord and for Callie.  Though he would probably say I need to cut my own hair, I am sure he would approve that when you donate your hair that the hair cut is free.  Actually yesterday, Hayden had his first birthday in heaven.

December 18th, 2013 I am donating my hair in the memory of:

My Grandfather - Bill Stinson
My Pop-pop - Dean Moseley
Cousin - Hayden Lavo

 

Third time

 

Special thanks to Terri McInnes, who has been my hair dresser for 20 years and

has been the one to cut my hair each time I have donated it.

Today is exactly 1 week from Christmas.  At church this past sunday they acknowledged and prayed for those that were struggling with the loss of a loved one and that loss is amplified by the holidays.  I know for my family this is true.  For those of you that also feel that ache in your heart, this is the prayer I pray over you.

Heavely Father, our Comforter and our Peace,  I ask that you touch the hearts that hurt, the hearts that ache at the loss of their loved ones.  Lord, I pray that they will feel your presence and that your presence fill that void.  God, we rejoice that our loved ones are no longer in pain and that they are able to dance in your presence.  For those left behind that struggle to understand and have the "why's"that plague their minds, I ask that you provide your peace that surpasses all understanding.... That you quiet the doubt and fear and replace it with joy and hope.  Thank you for sending your one and only Son to die on the cross for out sins, so that we may have eternal life.  In your precious and Holy name... Amen.

100

100… This is the age I thought for sure my Pop-pop would live to.  Never thought he would be gone at 80.  Today is his 81^st birthday and he is getting to spend it with Jesus, at the true 19^th hole.  233 days have passed since he took his last breath.  I can say a day has not passed that I have not thought of him.  Most of the time those thoughts are just fond memories and sometimes those thoughts are met with deep ache and tears. 

I have learned a lot about myself in these 233 days and I have learned a lot about him and his influence on others. The influence a person can have on you, can drive you to do better and strive for goals. I can say he was one of my reasons to strive for success.  To make Pop-pop proud was important.  For the first few weeks after he passed, I felt a little lost in the fact that I would not hear him say “that’s great!”.  Even though I know he was little confused in the fact that I had a real estate licenses but I did not sell houses.  I do residential property management, regardless, he was proud. 

One of the greatest life lessons he gave me was on leadership.  This is one of the things I said at his memorial “Some people are born leaders and that is what Pop-pop was. People often confuse leaders as people who tell others what to do. But true leaders are the ones that serve and do their part for the betterment of others… not just themselves.”  Last few years I started seeking more leadership roles in my local association of REALTORS. Last year I was asked to be a committee chair and then was nominated to run for board of directors.  Pop-pop had served on the board for his retirement community, so I was ecstatic to tell him I had been nominated to run.  Even when I did not make it on the board, he was still proud “that I had put myself out there”.  I really wish I could talk to him about what I am doing now to pursue a leadership role.

I have made the choice that even though he is not a phone call away to share with him what is going on, that I want to be able to tell him a lot has happened since the last time we talked.  I may not be able to hear those words now, but I will.  Life is going to be full of great years, with a few difficult days. During the message today at church, they said "You may not choose the struggles you go through, but you decide how you go through them."  Meaning you have the choice to how you react, how you overcome and how you let that struggle effect you.  You must make the choice to have a happy and purposeful life, it does not just happen by chance.

A legacy is more than just being remembered when you are gone. "What we do for ourselves dies with us.  What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal."  Albert Pine  

We have each been given life lessons, had our lives touched by someone's words, time and/or actions... What have you done to carry on that legacy?  What will you DO to carry on that legacy?  

Scar Tissue

Scar Tissue - What is the first thing you think of when you see/hear these words?  For me I start singing "scar tissue I wish you saw"from the Red Hot Chili Peppers song title Scar Tissue.  Last night I heard this song and started thinking about it in context to Easter and to life.  
As we go through life, things sometimes cause scar tissue to grow in our hearts.  The hurts of life cause a wound and as those wounds heal they become scar tissue.  These wounds could be one of many things... you know what has hurt your heart and how it has healed.  Sometimes these wounds are still in the scab phase and are easily reopened, and are slow to heal.
For some people they struggle to get past these hurts and the scar tissue begins to take over the heart.  Personally I know what it is like to struggle with this.  I have found too that even places that I thought were "healed"  could be reopened in an instant.  A situation, a word, an action or a loss can split open a wound before you even realize it, but those feelings start creeping in and the darkness wants to seep in. And when all hope wants to disappear, the Light reminds you... It is still there and It will over come.  

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”  John 8:12

On Resurrection Morning, Jesus came back to life with scars on His body and holes in His hands and Feet.  Can you imagine and if during the middle of the crucifixion Jesus had said, this is not worth it, that He did not love us enough to continue on?  He didn't and he asked God to forgive us. He got out of that grave with joy for what He was able to do.  He gave us eternal Life.  He gave us a life where we do not walk a lone and where He ask us to let Him carry our burdens.  He wants our hurts and he wants to heal our hearts.  

So for those of you that struggle with scar tissue, remember you are not alone.  The One that created you, loves you and gave His life for you... And He is there to take those burdens from you.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16