100

100… This is the age I thought for sure my Pop-pop would live to.  Never thought he would be gone at 80.  Today is his 81^st birthday and he is getting to spend it with Jesus, at the true 19^th hole.  233 days have passed since he took his last breath.  I can say a day has not passed that I have not thought of him.  Most of the time those thoughts are just fond memories and sometimes those thoughts are met with deep ache and tears. 

I have learned a lot about myself in these 233 days and I have learned a lot about him and his influence on others. The influence a person can have on you, can drive you to do better and strive for goals. I can say he was one of my reasons to strive for success.  To make Pop-pop proud was important.  For the first few weeks after he passed, I felt a little lost in the fact that I would not hear him say “that’s great!”.  Even though I know he was little confused in the fact that I had a real estate licenses but I did not sell houses.  I do residential property management, regardless, he was proud. 

One of the greatest life lessons he gave me was on leadership.  This is one of the things I said at his memorial “Some people are born leaders and that is what Pop-pop was. People often confuse leaders as people who tell others what to do. But true leaders are the ones that serve and do their part for the betterment of others… not just themselves.”  Last few years I started seeking more leadership roles in my local association of REALTORS. Last year I was asked to be a committee chair and then was nominated to run for board of directors.  Pop-pop had served on the board for his retirement community, so I was ecstatic to tell him I had been nominated to run.  Even when I did not make it on the board, he was still proud “that I had put myself out there”.  I really wish I could talk to him about what I am doing now to pursue a leadership role.

I have made the choice that even though he is not a phone call away to share with him what is going on, that I want to be able to tell him a lot has happened since the last time we talked.  I may not be able to hear those words now, but I will.  Life is going to be full of great years, with a few difficult days. During the message today at church, they said "You may not choose the struggles you go through, but you decide how you go through them."  Meaning you have the choice to how you react, how you overcome and how you let that struggle effect you.  You must make the choice to have a happy and purposeful life, it does not just happen by chance.

A legacy is more than just being remembered when you are gone. "What we do for ourselves dies with us.  What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal."  Albert Pine  

We have each been given life lessons, had our lives touched by someone's words, time and/or actions... What have you done to carry on that legacy?  What will you DO to carry on that legacy?  

Scar Tissue

Scar Tissue - What is the first thing you think of when you see/hear these words?  For me I start singing "scar tissue I wish you saw"from the Red Hot Chili Peppers song title Scar Tissue.  Last night I heard this song and started thinking about it in context to Easter and to life.  
As we go through life, things sometimes cause scar tissue to grow in our hearts.  The hurts of life cause a wound and as those wounds heal they become scar tissue.  These wounds could be one of many things... you know what has hurt your heart and how it has healed.  Sometimes these wounds are still in the scab phase and are easily reopened, and are slow to heal.
For some people they struggle to get past these hurts and the scar tissue begins to take over the heart.  Personally I know what it is like to struggle with this.  I have found too that even places that I thought were "healed"  could be reopened in an instant.  A situation, a word, an action or a loss can split open a wound before you even realize it, but those feelings start creeping in and the darkness wants to seep in. And when all hope wants to disappear, the Light reminds you... It is still there and It will over come.  

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”  John 8:12

On Resurrection Morning, Jesus came back to life with scars on His body and holes in His hands and Feet.  Can you imagine and if during the middle of the crucifixion Jesus had said, this is not worth it, that He did not love us enough to continue on?  He didn't and he asked God to forgive us. He got out of that grave with joy for what He was able to do.  He gave us eternal Life.  He gave us a life where we do not walk a lone and where He ask us to let Him carry our burdens.  He wants our hurts and he wants to heal our hearts.  

So for those of you that struggle with scar tissue, remember you are not alone.  The One that created you, loves you and gave His life for you... And He is there to take those burdens from you.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16

happens in a blink

This post is about my grandfather who we call Pop-pop.  I will give the back story for those of you who have not heard and in case you need a refresher. :)  This is from my point of view and may not have all the facts correct and I am not a medical professional... I am a property manager.  And I will guarantee that there are typos and I do not care tonight, please forgive my grammar laziness.

Back in March my grandfather found a bump in his belly behind his belly button.  At first they just thought it was a cyst, but test results showed that it was a malignant tumor.  It even has a special name, "Sister Mary Joseph Nodule", here you can even read about it.  This is very rare and when it is present it means there is cancer somewhere else, typically in the torso.  The other spots are located in his lungs.   He started chemo on April 19th and everything looked like it was going great.   If you have ever met my grandparents, you know they are always optimistic and "that everything will be fine" and that "they are flexible".  With their attitudes I don't think any of us expected for anything to go otherwise than "fine". After the first treatment he had no side effects and things were looking good.  The next one, his white cells pluments.  They postponed the 3rd treatment until May 17th, and we continued to pray against any side effects.  But the side effects came on, nausea, head aches and lethargic. May 24th, the 4th treatment and side effects get worse.  May 25th he had to get a blood transfusion, to boost his red blood cells.  My parents were there during this time, to help because not only was my Pop-pop going through chemo and blood transfusion but my grandma had to have cateract surgery on one eye. My parents got home a couple days later and my Pop-pop's condition got worse.  He had no energy and the nausea developed into not being able to keep anything down.  Home health came in and started an IV to try and get him Hydrated.  I talked to my grandmother as she waited for them to come that Sunday night, Pop-pop was too weak to even say hi.  The next day the fluids seemed like they were helping.  He ate and was able to keep things down, until evening came.  At this point I had made the decision that i needed to go down the following week to be there for my grandmothers 2nd cateract surgery and Pop-pop's next chemo, so I booked my flight to leave the 5th. My grandmother ended up having to call 911 around 2 am tuesday morning.  His body was now swollen 2 times its normal size, still not able to keep anything down and weak.  His potassium is elevated and his sodium is low a very delicate balancing act.  The next couple days there is no progress, seems for digress then anything.  They had been using his port to give him meds and fluids but sometime during Thursday night the port was not intaking anything and things started looking very grim. The hospital called my grandmother around 4am and told her that she might want to get up to the hospital.  Without the port they would not be able to give him the medicine.  There were talks of subclavians and ventilators and panic began to swell.  Philip and I made plans to leave this afternoon and drive down, as well as my parents and other family members were looking at flights.  My uncle was able to get a flight that would get him there around 2pm.  He made a plan to talk to the doctors and find out what exactly was going on and what the plan would be.  I began to get peace knowing someone would be there with my grandmother soon and continued to pray. Around noon I got a call from my grandma that the port was working again and that the medicines were going in and that they were able to draw blood.  Around 3 the peace was getting stronger knowing that my uncle was there, but was still on stand by if news was not good.  Around 6 got news that the port was still working, they were starting lasiks which will hopefully get some of the swelling down.  Still have a lot of questions but feel like we are starting to get some answers now.
Grandma called me around 8 and she was headed back up to the hospital to stay with him for the night. She has not been staying with him, because he has told her to go home a rest.  When she asked him to night, he said yes that he wanted her to stay.  They will celebrate their 60th anniversary in February.    Please continue to pray, for my Pop-pop, my grandma, his doctors and for us.  We appreciate the prayers, the calls, texts, messages, your love and support.

This morning I woke up around the time my grandmother got the call, of course I did not know that until later today.  When i woke up I was, wide awake and my mind started going, so I started praying.  This song was in my head, and how true it is.  How quickly things can change. Rivive "blink"

From the Heart

Well I just thought 2 months was a long time to go with out blogging.... HA! So hopefully I am back for good this time. A lot has happened and have a lot going through this little mind of mine. This blog is going to be more about what is going in my mind and in me, mostly because I need to get this out.

The last few months I have been struggling, with what I really couldn't put my finger on it but just felt out of sorts. It was very apparent to those that have been around me too. My poor husband for sure noticed. Talk about an emotional wreck. I have realized that I have turned to into a person that I am not proud of and do not want to be. Well, let me kind of rephrase that, there are parts of me that need to change but I'd like to hope there are still some good parts to me.

The magnify glass came out, when our church started a challenge for the year. For us to get into the word on a daily basis. To set a goal of reading the whole Bible or a portion of it... This is something I have slacked on the last few years. I have started with reading the New Testament. As I have been reading, it has been helping to open my eyes to what my issues are that need to be changed. It all has to stem from my heart and what is in it... I have not been guarding my heart, nor my mind. I find that the littlest thing can piss me off or alter my mood when I should be able to take it in stride and move on. It upsets me more to see how it not only effects me but also the ones that I love that usually take the brunt of it.

There have been some situations lately that God has really opened my eyes to how I am in it but also to others. One biggie is judging people/making fun/poking fun at someone, unfortunately it just comes out. I hadn't really thought much of it until the last month and I had two instances. One, I was sitting with a group where one person made a comment about another person at the table (where the other person could not hear, but I am sure they did, because they continued to repeat this to everyone at the table). The comment had to do with how this person felt that the other person should have some work done so they would be more attractive. I was shocked that this person would say that and all of a sudden I had that voice inside that said "how many times have you said something like that?'... Gulp. The other situation was when I overheard somebody talking about me and I thought "how rude, with friends like that who needs enemies" and again the voice interrupted with "doesn't feel good does it, what friends have you done this to?"... Got it, God.

Matthew 15:18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what defile a person;

I have to take control of the condition of my heart. Changing what goes into it... More of God and a lot less of me. Filtering those things that do not need to be an influence. Words, thoughts and attitudes are going to be a part of what needs to be weeded out. I am tired of living life this way and I am ready for it to change. Just means I have to do some changing first.

Instead of being jealous, angry, impatient, mean, and unforgiving, I will try to be 1 Corinthians.

So this is kind of part 2 of the inner battle. Yesterday during praise and worship, I was thinking/praying and my mind drifted to remembering a special person that I had had in my life. She was a mentor to me and so many ladies... Her presences has been missed in the past years that she has been gone. She was so full of grace, wisdom and the sweetest spirit you could have ever met... I just began to cry. I don't have this in my life any more and at that moment I realized how much I need it. I looked around the church and realized that I really do not know anyone outside my immediate circle of our life group, a few people that I know from outside church for years and then a few acquaintances. How have I gone to a church for 8 years and not have made more relationships? How do I start? You mean I have to get out of my comfort zone? I love my life group girls but there is just something special about having an older woman to look to that has been there and knows how to pray and guide you through it. I am blessed to have family members that are great influences too. My mom and cousin are super supportive and are there when I have a question or need prayer but again it is nice to have someone outside your family to talk to and pray with. So at this point let me just put this out there... I am looking for a new spiritual mentor. Any takers? ;)

To be continued...

How time flies...

Well crap, 2 months have passed and I have not blogged... fail. So now to figure out where to start so I can catch you up.

For those of you that have read my blog before might remember my entry about the "one word challenge". My one word was Experience. This word has become the filter that I run about every situation through. The goal, to make this year different then any other year.
This brought me to a place where it was time for me to step out of my comfort zone. I have been a licensed Realtor for 6 years and really had not been involved to the point I have wanted to be.
A opportunity came up for me to apply to a leadership program for Texas Realtors. It is a really neat program, that gives the student the tools to become a better leader and person. I was so scared to apply, afraid that I would be not be picked. There were only a few spots available through our local association. I had no idea how many other people were apply or who I was up against, but I was proud of myself for stepping out and applying for it. I received so much support and encouragement from other realtors and my broker. The day came and I received a phone call from the executive of the association and he told me... I did not make it in the program this year. :o( He said they had a lot more applicants than they even expected this year and with only 10 spots available it was a really hard decision. As a consolation prize they did offer me to join the association on a trip to Austin for the Realtors Hill Visit day, with my expenses paid. So this coming Tuesday i will be in Austin for the day and will tour the capital and sit in on the current session... I am so excited for this opportunity. They have encouraged me to apply next year as well. So may have not been the experience I was hoping for, but another experience has come from it.

On March 9th, My little Aggi girl got engaged! Aggi has become the tall little sister that I did not have growing up. lol. She is just so special to me, I am so thankful that God has brought her in my life, she blesses me everyday! So the wedding is going to be September 9th... eek! (one day after our 10 year anniversary), so i have been busy helping her plan her wedding. Let me just tell you how amazing it has been to see how God's hand is moving in this union. Aggi comes from a large family and is the second oldest, with younger ones still at home, so she is paying for the wedding herself. So in the beginning we were looking out what were the more important things to her that the money should be spent on and where could we save. Well let me just tell you with God she is not going to have to settle for anything. To start with, the perfect venue went down on the price and is bending over backwards to make things happen... Thanks Melissa!!!! A good friend paid for her dream dress. A family friend is doing the catering. The photographer that took her senior pictures in high school is doing the wedding for a new flash for her camera. It's just been one blessing after another and it has been awesome to witness it.




Well the other thing in my life right now is an experiment I am doing. Most people that know me, know that I have had stomach issues even before my gallbladder issues. I am starting to feel it is more food oriented more than anything else. Now is just to figure out what it is. After a bad flair up, I felt maybe I might have narrowed it down. I had eaten bread and only bread and was completely miserable. So after that I started researching gluten allergies. A lot of the symptoms I have do line up for a gluten allergy/intolerance, not so much celiac disease ( which is good). For a about 4 days I really struggled with stomach problems. On Thursday morning i was laying in bed trying to convenience myself that I needed to get up and also praying. I started feeling that I was suppose to eliminate gluten from my diet for 40 days. So no I am not doing this for Lent, I do not participate in Lent. This is just something I feel I have to do out of obedience. As much as I love my gluten food, if this is the issue I am at peace with that and it is something I can live with. So far I am 22 days into and really had hoped to see more of a difference but so far I have not. The first week was a challenge figuring out what I could and could not have, so really those first few days should not count because I know gluten was involved. I feel if this does not bring the relief I am looking for then I will look to eliminating something else until I figure it out. So any advice would be appreciated!

Now onto my own episode of Hoarding Buried Alive... Ok not that bad but closer than I wanted to be, but we all know I come by it Naturally. It first started with cleaning out the cabinets in the kitchen, then it lead to getting the home office back to a home office and not just a pile room, then it spread to my work office, then closets and the guest room... HOLY MOLY WHERE DID ALL THIS STUFF COME FROM AND WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO HOLD ON TO!?!? So needless to say it has been an emotional journey and bless my husband pea picking heart for still loving me through it all. Let's just say I will be happy to have this garage sale when the weather cooperates.

Now you are up to date on a few things going on in my life, if I updated you on everything that would take to long and you would not read all of it.

"Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you."
Aldous Huxley

Mexican Chicken and Enchilada soup Recipe

I have come up with two recipes that I love and I am going to share it with those I love. Both of these are for the crockpot so great for a busy day!

Mexican Chicken

8 boneless skinless chicken breast ( this last time I made it I had 4 Chicken breast and 4 boneless porkchops)
1 jar pace picante sauce (mild)
1 can rotel original or mild
1 large can of crushed tomato
1 can small to medium tomato sauce
1 tablespoon season salt ( I use Julio's)
2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 scoop of Mama G's salsa in snap seasoning http://www.mamagcreations.com/ I love this stuff! it makes great salsa and love it for seasoning not only this recipe but it adds a kick to any bland casserole . If you do not have this here is what the back of the canister says it has in it. Dehydrated onion, chili pepper flakes, garlic, salt, cilantro, chili powder and assorted spices. So about a sprinkle of each of these would work :-)

I cut the meat either in halves or thirds. Put everything into the crockpot. Make sure the meat is cover with liquid, if not completely covered add water or chicken broth until covered. Cook on low for 6-8 hours. To test if it is ready get two forks and try and shred one piece. If it shreds easily than it is ready. BEFORE you shred the rest you will want to drain some of the excess liquid. Put the liquid into a measuring cup, you should get between 2-3 cups. Leave enough liquid to cover the bottom of the crock pot, this will keep the meat moist. Now shred the rest.


Spanish Rice

With the liquid in the measuring cup you are going to make Spanish rice the quick way. I use minute rice in the red box.
Now the liquid is going to have some solids from the meat and the salsa and rotel... these are yummy bits! Because of the yummy bits you will need to had some water to the rice.
Typically it is 1 cup of rice to 1 cup of liquid. You are going to add 2 tablespoons to each cup you make. So if you have two cups of liquid you are going to add 4 tablespoons of water. Cook according to the directions on the box. I do it in the microwave.

So this would be the first night meal. We usually eat it as soft tacos.

So the second or even third night you can make the enchilada soup. This last time I froze the left overs until today to make the soup. You are going to want 3-4 cups of meat and about 2 cups of rice.

Enchilada Soup

Your 3-4 cups of meat and about 2 cups of rice that are left over. Mine were still a little frozen when I put them in.
1 large (28 oz) & 1 small 10 oz can of Old El Paso Mild enchilada sauce.
2 cans of reduce fat cream of chicken soup
1 can regular cream of chicken
16 oz of chicken broth... I use the box of chicken broth so this is about half of it. If you want or have a can which is 14.5 that is fine just might add a little water.
1 can black beans drained, rinsed and toweled off.
1 table spoon season salt
2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 scoop of Mama G's ( see above recipe)
1 zucchini cut in half or quarter slices
1 yellow squash cut in half or quarter slices
half a bag a frozen corn
3 roasted green chili's diced or can diced green chili's would work... I would go with the mild.
cook on low for 6-8 hours

I also use the crockpot liners... It has made my life so much easier!!!! Hope you enjoy!

My One Word...

This year our life group at church is doing the one word challenge. It started with one church and has grown each year. Probably you or someone you know has/is participating in it. You can go to myoneword.org to learn more about it... Below is from their home page.

Every New Year we hope this will finally be the year that things will change. We make promises about the new person we're going to become, pledging to get a grip on our finances, get in shape, become a better parent, spouse, even a nicer human being! But there’s one problem: our resolutions seldom work. The busy pace of life gets the better of us, and suddenly, the year is over with little to no personal growth having occurred in our lives.

“My One Word” is an experiment designed to move you beyond the past and look ahead. The challenge is simple: lose the long list of changes you want to make this year and instead pick ONE WORD. This process provides clarity by taking all of your big plans for life change and narrowing them down into a single thing. One word focuses on your character and creates a vision for your future. So, we invite you to join us and pick one word in 2011 (click here to learn how

Now was the hard part picking the one word that could change your life... or so I thought it would be. Even as we were watching the videos on the website the word was being whispered on my heart and the definition that it would take on.

My one word... Experience. Now what does that mean... it means a whole lot. The dictionary describes it as:

a : direct observation of or participation in events as a basis of knowledge

b : the fact or state of having been affected by or gained knowledge through direct observation or participation

2 a : practical knowledge, skill, or practice derived from direct observation of or participation in events or in a particular activity

b : the length of such participation experience in the job

3a : the conscious events that make up an individual life

b : the events that make up the conscious past of a community or nation or humankind generally

4 : something personally encountered, undergone, or lived through

Part two is to find a verse that embodies your definition. The week we started doing this my cousin aka Girl Seeks Truth blogged about her "one word", which you should read hers and she is listed as one of the blogs I follow. So I texted her and told her I was struggling with a verse, we texted for a bit and she told me she would get back to me about a verse. A few days later she sent me a message... Joshua 1:9. As familar as I am with this verse it has now taken on a new meaning.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

As a little girl and now as a woman( I guess 30 classifies me as woman) fear has had a grip on my life and in every situation. I use to fall asleep quoting 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Because of this fear I have lost out on a lot of my life experiences. My fears have been feeling disappointment, being uncomfortable, looking stupid, losing someone or something and the list goes on.

In the last couple of weeks I have examined as situation and opportunities come up, with the eyes of is this something that God wants me to experience? Sometimes I don't even have a choice, but I roll with it, because my Lord my God is with me wherever I go.

Even in the last few weeks I have been blessed with God's faithfulness. A couple of days before this project started on January 6th as we were leaving our family vacation in Vegas, Philip received a call that the contractor he has been working for had no work lined up. It's been slow before but nothing like this. I will admit that it is seems a little scary, but God is good and Philip has had some small individual jobs come up. Just praying that those will continue until Philip knows what direction he wants to go in... Any one need some custom cabinets, furniture, shadow boxes, wood repairs, remodel or anything along those lines let us know. :o)

So we will see what all God has for me to experience. I am excited to see how He will work in my life this year and years to come.

" Adventure is worthwhile in itself" Amelia Earhart

http://myoneword.org/